it feels so weird not to beable to feel your face....
i hate it...it sucks.....it suchs bad...lol
I got two teeth in the back, molars...extracted today
They had to numb me up of couse..but even still i felt something
my dentist is a rude man...and he is rough. It hurt me so much...ol
but now the teeth are gone....and im happy...
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| Date: | 2007-01-24 15:59 |
| Subject: | |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: |  calm | | Music: | ain't no other man |
I cant focus anymore......
i found that i failed my history test......
(we took one yesterday)
Im totally ok with that..but im not ok..
with not passing a test because i cant concentrate....
lol
Anyway...i woke up in a bad mood...
and today at school all i wanted to do was go home...
and just practice the song for the UL symphony.....
i did...as soon as i got home i practiced....
it doesnt sound great...lol...but i have started to cry over it yet.....
i practice the 1st 4 lines today...
yesterday when i tryed to play it all i did was the 1st 2 lines.
...
but it not up to speed at all......
i just hope that i can get it finished by march...
i will feel like a failure if i cant play it and my friends can...lol.....
(ive been playing for longer....every one expects me to be better.....
i want to be better)
i have a feeling that i wont have much time to practice it.....
school...inall....english is goin to kill me......
i have 17 and a half journals to write for friday...
im goin to try to do them tonight.....
but i work at 5.....
because thurday i have to write my explacation paper for friday.
Who knows how long thats goin to take me......
but i do have my poem picked out.....
I HATE SCHOOL
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At work a customer asked me if i had found out anything about this really bad reck, down the road.
I told her ," um no..this is the 1st " gave her a giggle grin and walked away. My cousin and maybe 2 other people were killed to night by a 18 wheeler. Not even a close cousin. I knew her, and talked to her maybe twice. But i feel horrible. It just takes the death of a young person to remind me that we arent living forever right now. And it kills me to think that.....she was just alive a couple of hours ago and now shes.....I lefted work early tonight because i couldnt stay at work...we werent busy and all i had time to do was think, and i just didnt want to think. To think how sad it would be to loose someone.......im so afraid of loosing someone. I didnt want to feel alone so i called a friend..but she was sleeping..lol..i told her to just go to back to sleep...no one is really home tonight. Its friday.....i want to talk to someone.
17 comments | post a comment
| Date: | 2007-01-01 17:14 |
| Subject: | i feel so sick |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: | amused |
I woke up at 11:02am with my ear piece in my ear. I fell asleep on the phone. Now i have fallen asleep on the phone before, but i have always woken up.....but last night or this morning i should say......i sleep for many hours with the ear piece in my ear...lol...my sleep was good, it was cold. But i did sleep good........yesterday was just a really good day for me, i came back from the stay at my friends house.....and i was just like so happy, floating on clouds.....(is it cloud nine ?) I danced around in my room to the peppiest music ever....until i had to go to work...lol..I just cant explain ....or put in to words how just happy i was .... i dont know if ive ever been that happy...(i cant remember a time) But this morning.....my good mood was destroyed...lol...by my mother....lol...but im better now.......omg...ill have to finish this later because i want to go to walmart.....
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| Date: | 2006-12-29 12:27 |
| Subject: | wasted |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: |  dorky |
Don't waste it
It's only here for today
You don't own it
So you can't just give it away
Forever is half a moment away
So don't waste it
It's only here for today
Everything is waiting here
Don't mess with my heart, don't mess with my mind
Won't let you get us down this time.
You'll like what you see and take it from me
You'll learn to see it over time.
Get wasted on love, get wasted on life, get wasted on anything that's right.
Get wasted, get wasted, get wasted, get wasted with me.
It seems empty
I don't know what you expect
If you don't give
You're never going to get
Forever is half a moment away
So don't waste it
It's only here for today
Everything is waiting here
Don't mess with my heart, don't mess with my mind
Won't let you get us down this time.
You'll like what you see and take it from me
You'll learn to see it over time.
Get wasted on love, get wasted on life, get wasted on anything that's right.
Get wasted, get wasted, get wasted, get wasted with me.
1 comment | post a comment
| Date: | 2006-12-26 18:16 |
| Subject: | i won |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: | excited |
i just hope they send my cello......and not steal my money
2 comments | post a comment
| Date: | 2006-12-26 17:37 |
| Subject: | right now |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: |  apathetic |
Im trying so hard not to stress over things right now, tomorrow
i have a hair appointment and a couple of hours after that i have to go take pre-wedding pictures.
While my mother called me around 4ish to tell me that we had a big problem.
The problem is that she doesnt have tomorrow off and that my dad goes back
to work that same day. I know have no babysitter for my brothers and no way
of getting to my out of town hair appointment.(i dont play attention when i
am the passenger in the car). My mom told me that my grandma could bring me in the morning..but she couldnt pick me up, everyone in my family works. I asked my friends
, who's been here since saturday if she could babysit my brothers
so i didnt have to bring them to my hair appointment. I feel so bad,
my brothers a so active( active is code for annoying and bad and
lots of other things ) I wanted her to come with me to my hair appointment,
so i wouldnt feel like i had to talk to the hair girl for 4 hours..
because thats about how long its goin to take me to do my hair.
Im jjust trying to not stress over things. But other than that,
i have been a a very good mood since saturday. Saturday was my friends bon fire.
I love bon fires. He dad cooked some potato soup, that i didnt eat.
It wasnt cooked enought, the soup was watery....
so i ate cookies and half of someone elses hot dog.....
which was very good.....i wasnt hungry much, the best part of when
we went on a hay ride. I sat by a special someone who pointed out different constellations of
stars or star constellations im not sure which way is the proper why.Anyway we found oryan's belt like 4 different times, i never got to see Oryan, if hes really up there...lol....(Goodtimes).
My family hasnt been harrashing me lately...it might be because of my
friend being here is the guy's sister or just her being here all together...lol.....ok, i have to go on ebay...
to see if i can win my cello!!! i have like 15mins to go.....
12 comments | post a comment
wekkend was good, or is still good, some gurl who is related to some guy i know is over at the house. We stood outside in the rain for like 15mins trying to take a picture in mini skirts while jumping......
and its blurry...lol
doesnt look like shes about to eat me!!!?/?? it was gr3eat!
and heres a picture from the bonfire on saturday which ill talk about later when i have more time.
2 comments | post a comment
| Date: | 2006-12-14 02:03 |
| Subject: | retard |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: |  dirty | | Music: | the black parade |
i have no character ......so why do i have to write a paper on it!!!!! Is retarded
2 comments | post a comment
| Date: | 2006-12-12 21:58 |
| Subject: | |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: |  uncomfortable |
the day was good....but now im just like whatever
. .... ...
i just got a call from my ex and he asked me if we could pray together at night.....
i think i might have to tell him that he cant call me....
i just want to deal with that...
i really dont...hearing his voice makes me feel so sad and just so sorry for him...
almost like i did something wrong...
(and i didnt) im goin to play around on my violin ......
post a comment
| Date: | 2006-12-12 03:22 |
| Subject: | why live a lie? |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: |  it happens | | Music: | the art of suicide |
So i should be prepareing for my English test for tomorrow...
i just cant right now. Like 20 or so mins ago i got back from pizza hut.
It was pratice today and we always do something.....
tonight it seemed like they stayed alot longer...
its probley because we had to order pizzas.....it was fun,
..............the ex deleted his myspace..............
.............not seeing it just reminded me that........
.................it was over again.............
Today eric and i had a really long conver...about music.
When we actually talk to each other...i usually enjoy it..lol
hes goin to buy a violin, well he wants to so he was asking what
i thought about that, then and there i decided that i was goin to stop
putting off buying my cello, and just buy it the next time i had
enough money, im giving up the ipod for the cello..i want the cello
more. I just hope i dont get discouraged from saving the money, because
its goin to take me forever to save...up with my ..wages........talk about
violins made me want to practice...when igot home...after i got off the phone
i played...the theme to romeo and juliet...and i actually liked the way
it sound today...i never like my playing but today it sound pretty. So thats
goin to be my new song...i want to have it memorized...
so far..i got nothing...lol...
....................i think ill go listion to the postal service and think.................
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Today i was suppost to get together with Liz, Gretchen, and Brittany to start on our shakespeare festival stuff. But no one called me, so i guess we didnt do anything. I didnt really want to go. But later on this week we are all goin to wish we would have started sooner. But i feel more ok with doin something last min with a group and thats what i have. Instead of reading shakespeare and doing advance math study guides i talked on the phone all day....pretty much. To both the "crush" and the "new ex". The "new ex".......i just told him that i didnt want to do it anymore..it meaning our romantic relationship. When i told Kelly that i didnt want to do it anymore...lol...she thought i was talkin about sex..lol..shes funny. Anyway..........i still feel really bad about it, but its what i wanted to do...its what i wanted..........ok, i dont want to even talk about this on here anymore..but if anyone once to know more....jsut call me..
..........I am in the mood to just do something right now..i dont feel like just sitting around at the computer or infront of the tv....i know thats sounds where, but i feel alone right now...annd my parent are home..i just have a really weird feeling. LIke Im all alone while earlier when i was actually along....i didnt feel anything...o well. I just want to sit here and stare in to space..i think ill just do that right now....and wait......
4 comments | post a comment
Today was good, i was very happy with the way today was. I was in such a great mood. There was just no stress at all today. I went to my friends wedding shower....i was a hostess..i got a little crosage or whatever to wear...it was fun, it was cold today and we had it outside. But it was so beautiful with all of the lights and candles lit. Omg..i now want to have a shower soo i can get gifts for my new house..the one i dont own yet. I cant wait to do stuff like that...lol. My friend's cousin was there...i was reminded that she was living in town and goin to the town colledge....she asked me why today was the 1st time she saw me...lol...i love her....she like so awesome..anyways..im tired and thats why i came home, i was suppost to stay over..get in the hot tub when everyone lefted..but i wasnt feeling up to it....so i come home..to my empty house...my family went away for the weekend...so thats fun!!!!
-i think something is starting....! and i like it....!!
2 comments | post a comment
| Date: | 2006-12-06 23:43 |
| Subject: | ......... |
| Security: | Public |
i dont know what im doing
Smeared black ink.
Your palms are sweaty,
and I'm barely listening
to last demands.
I'm staring at the asphalt wondering
"What's buried underneath where I am?"
(Where I am)
I'll wear my badge:
a vinyl sticker with big block letters
adhered to my chest.
It tells your new friends
"I am a visitor here... I am not permanent."
And the only thing keeping me dry is...
You seem so out of context,
in this gaudy apartment complex.
A stranger with your door key,
explaining that I'm just visiting.
And I am finally seeing
why I was the one worth leaving.
(I was the one worth leaving)
D.C. sleeps alone tonight.
(Where I am)
You seem so out of context
in this gaudy apartment complex.
(Where I am)
A stranger with your door key
explaining that I'm just visiting.
(Where I am)
And I am finally seeing
why I was the one worth leaving.
(I was the one worth leaving)
(Where I am)
The District sleeps alone tonight
after the bars turn out their lights.
(Where I am)
And send the autos swerving
into the loneliest evening.
(Where I am)
And I am finally seeing
why I was the one worth leaving.
why I was the one worth leaving.
why I was the one worth leaving.
why I was the one worth leaving.
post a comment
| Date: | 2006-12-06 22:58 |
| Subject: | and what-not |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: |  silly | | Music: | nein |
My crush asked if i liked him last night. So i told him, which is what "Someone" told me not to do.
I wasn't going to say anything, even thoguht i knew i would....if that makes any sence.
But he asked so i told. I didnt even hesitate to answer......I wonder what that means to him.
Or maybe what he thinks it means...lol... Im not sure if i really want to know.
But i did wonder. Today was a thinking day.
A sat in all of my classes like a zombie.....staring at the walls and floors.
How fun. I wrote a pros and cons list in 3rd hour, when i got out of my desk to throw away some died ink pens.....i started to cry...lol...im just weepy..
so i tured to brett, because i sat next to him today
(crackwhore(hes not really on crack, hes just so mean to me, all girls,
brett thinks he just dont know what to do around girls)
was doing some kind of computer thing)And i told him of what i was thinking.
He wasnt in the best mood today, i ended up listening to some of his problems in the end.
But it was nice to have someone listion to me, even thought i didnt get anywhere..
lol....
then when i went to homeroom and told kelly about my pros and cons....
she reminded me of a time when i helped her make out one.....
we were freshmen. I want go into detail about what her list was about.
I watched the victoria's secret run way show last night..
it was so great, i want to watch it again.
I would love to do that.....
walk on a run way in lingerie all the time, with cute little wings...
well cute big wings. I did my model walk everytime i walked to a different class...
its fun.lol...such a nerd (in kelly's words)
When i grow up, i want to be a victoria's secrets model...lol
post a comment
| Date: | 2006-12-06 02:57 |
| Subject: | o wow |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: |  nervous |
o boy
6 comments | post a comment
I skipped out on work saturday to go to stay at a friends house. When we got there he was all moody, how fun is that.See earlyer that day, his mom told him that she wanted to go with us, to be our babysitter type. Its only because i was there....i cant be trusted.....lol.that made me sad too. I basicly caused his pain...lol.....the night got better when we started to play games together...we played one game of BS and then Guestures....i think we had to most fun playing Guestures...had a giggle spell during BS.....i crack myself up....lol...On the sunday, we went to Baton Rouge to look for girls....lol..we not me...or my girlfriend...lol..but we went with 2 boys one being "blah blah" and the other one ill call pete. We didnt find any girls for pete and "blah blah" didnt even want to be there..they must have been really bored because i kept waking them all up. Later that day, we went to the mall....were i bought this awesome....awesome....corset...that i totally love...i dont think pete liked it...lol...he was being even more moody in the mall. He didnt like the stores we went in and this and that..And when we got in the car, we were tryin to decide were to eat and he didnt really say anything..so i said CiCi's Pizza, because it was cheap, and he was like i dont want to go there..."but go were ashley wants to go"(yes he was mocking me)..i was really aggravated at that time(i tried to let it go) he was being a brat! I felt like i just needed to fuss at him.....(the mother in me). I understand that he got burned by the last girl he was kind of sorta with, but he reallly didnt need to be acting like that, when we were tryin to help him out. I think he felt neglected and my girlfriend ,lets call her, amiii, Amii thinks its because he is attached to me, i guess he wasnt getting all of my attention....or all the attention he wanted. I cant.
Ok, today was like not a bad day, i was just in a bad mood for most of it.
School crap...lol...i found out that i did ture in my journal..for AP English...lol...yea thats about it. I got a call from someone with bad news, which makes me sad,,,thats it...i cant think and talk to someone on aim at the same time...so ill do this later.
5 comments | post a comment
im tired...ill explain my weekend tomorrow!
1 comment | post a comment
On my day back to school.
Once upon a time there was this girl named Ashley.
Who lived in a small town inhabited by 1,000 people (not really)
Ashley was a nice girl, with a entertaining life, and most everyone liked.
But on December 1, 2006, her day was just blah.
She woke up at 6:20ish, like most days, but today she stayed in
bed a full extra 30mins. She was hiding her little eyes from the
cold, angry, atmosphere that surronded her bed. The bad cold weather had
pitched their tents in her room. She thought to herself,
"Ashley its time for you to stick up for yourself". In fear that if
she didnt do what she said, the evil cold weather would freezer to death.
Ashley jumped out of her bed and put on her suit of armor.
(I (narrator) will skip the violent part and just end the story)
-OMg in 2nd hour today i found out that i totally had to do something, um that i didnt do...lol..so that sucks "bad" , but im praticing the whole not being bothered by it.....or just like caring alittle less..because i dont want my face to not more again. (lol) But i did like pass my english quiz on macbeth act 3...and i didnt ever read it. I got a 50/50. Excited i was.....lol but i am not excited about goin to work to night. I only have like an hour to do ..nothing....(when i go to work i have to you know work...lol)
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Tomorrow have work with best friend. I havent seen him in like forever...i wonder how his smoking is goin. He told me that he was tryin to stop....something was said at the meeting that reminded me of him. One night while at work......he comes up to me,(Gets right in my face) and tells me that people say kissing someone who smokes is like kissing an ashtray....."what to try it out". Why do i think thats funny? I started laught durning the meeting tonight....lol....and im sure he ment it, he gets on my nervse sometimes...i think it was because i was seeing him like every week....everyweek..is to much for me....but i havent seen him for like a month now. So tomorrow should be ok.OOoo I didnt model today. I decided to go to work with momma so that i could be in town and who ever tab was goin with(tab is that girl who invited me to go) would come pick me up at goodwill. WEll we are almost to raine and my grandma calls us and tells me that tab got back home late last night...and that she wasnt goin. I wasnt to hurt......about the modeling but i did want to go get my free underwear from victoria's secret...lol. So today i shopped at goodwill.I got like bought 50 dollars worth of stuff....i bought some records and clothing ...for myself and others....but i had fun. Me and momma got to eat out for lunch.....at the chinese place called the Golden Wok. I was good!!! well i have to go and like do my history study guide...i have the test tomorrow....fun
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